Timing
by It Was Lupus Once
Summary: One-shot "You can't board a train if it's already left the station & if your timing isn't right, then you'll never reach your destination." Cuddy walks into her office and she shares a moment with House. Huddy angst. Some Luddy. Take a chance & read it?


AN: I don't own. blah blah blah, David Shore is master of universe and House.

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She walked through the doors and scurried to her office, a safe cavern away from suspicious eyes. She should be happier, she thought.

"I **am** happy" she affirmed to herself.

And that was the truth. She _was_ happy.

Lisa Cuddy worked hard every day of her life to get what she wanted and this was just one more thing she could check off of her to-do list. She thought about that image mentally for a moment. She decided it was too cold, too formal.

Instead she took a moment and thought of what all of this would mean and romanticized the moment, basked in the glow of the happiness she had found.

But life had other plans for her and reality came crashing through her doors.  
"Gooood morning" he larked.

"House," she responded courtly, quirking her eyebrow at him, challenging him, trying to let him know there was still fun somewhere buried in their relationship.  
And yet, she fidgeted in her seat, settling on laying her hands in her lap as if to help ground her to something. "What do you need?"

House's posture suddenly stiffened. "When did it happen?" a serious tone overtaking his words in a way that reflected his posture only too well.

"What? How did you-

"Your posture" he said as he cut her off "-body language." he corrected himself.

"What?" she didn't understand how the two were related.

"Your hands, they're in your lap. Means your hiding something from me. And the only reason you would be hiding your hands is..." he trailed off. Not wanting to say it out loud, hoping if he didn't say, she wouldn't either, and it wouldn't be true.

She broke the unspoken spell, the unwritten rule that he had just declared, "He proposed Friday night."

"Right." he nodded his head once. "Mazeltov." he paused and inwardly gathered himself. "Need you to approve the procedure, family wants him to heal 'naturally'." He tossed the file on her desk and she scoffed at his actions.

She scoffed in that way that crinkles her face as she rolls her eyes. In that way that makes him think she's cute. In a way that makes him hate her for making him think words like cute.

And suddenly he felt betrayed. As if she wasn't allowed to pretend this isn't happening. Like things could be like were before. Like she could go back to making him want her.

And he stopped his thinking before he lost all of his rationality. She didn't do anything, he thought. He rationalized that she responded to his actions, in a neutral way. Not flirty but not cold.

But that's not right either, because as he looked at her as she perused the file. He saw the way the light from her windows behind her desk highlighted her features, and his eyes traveled and traversed her body, and her actions made him realize he still wanted her. And this, this was not allowed anymore. Him wanting her was not allowed.

But he had always wanted her though, for her body -her perfect body. She was pristine, and taught, and Cuddy aging, it only made her more attractive. And he took delight in the soft lines on her face, basking in the fact that he had probably been the reason for a few of them. That he had been a thorn in her side for over half his life now. That even though they weaved in and out of each other's lives, that she had always had an impact on him. That on the day he met her he'd resigned himself to discover all of her mysteries. That he had assigned himself to her, that he would find out how she got the scar on her leg and just exactly why it was she had a chip on her shoulder. She intrigued him. She had always intrigued him. And somewhere along the line, over the years, he discovered it wasn't just her body that drew him to her. She belonged to him. He had decided that somewhere along the line. That wanting her for her body wasn't enough, that it would be a sin not to have all of her. Because her mind was just as perfect as her body. But she would never be his, because you can't board a train if it's already left the station and if your timing isn't right then you'll never reach your destination. And timing, he thought, was never their thing.

"No." she said now striding over to him as he was pulled out of his thoughts, out of his trance.

"Knew you weren't going to say yes anyway." He grabbed the file out of her hand, making sure not to look at her dominant hand that offered it to him, making sure not to touch her hand. Her left hand was now diseased to him. He grabbed the file and turned away.

"Then why'd you ask?"

"I don't know," he turned back and said honestly.

"What did you mean body language?" she asked with false confidence.

"Your hands were in your lap."

"But you changed your response from posture to body language."

"You quirked your eyebrow at me."

"You could tell I was engaged by my eyebrow?" She raised her eyebrow in defiance.

"It meant something was off. You haven't done that in months... 'It's not fun anymore.' Remember?" he spoke. "Anyway, you were right."

And Cuddy could sense the bitterness still lingering in his mouth.  
She put her hand on his shoulder as a peace offering, "House, it doesn't have to..."

"Yes it does." He cut her off and he walked out of her office.

She returned to her paperwork. She thought about his face when he'd realized just how serious she and Lucas had become. She thought there was something she could say, something she could do that would set things right. But she knew that anything short of calling off her engagement wouldn't make it right again. He had always had a hold on her heart but now there was Lucas. And he was good and decent and he loved her. And she loved him. And now that House knew about her engagement she didn't have to hide in her office, didn't have his reaction to fear. And she was happy. And when her staff congratulated her it felt right, and when Wilson offered his, it was bittersweet, but he hugged her and she hugged back.

But she thought about all the great love affairs and lingered on Romeo and Juliet and she thought about just how cliché she was for thinking that, but still she wondered if maybe they had gotten their timing right, they could have been together too. But then she remembered that they are remembered because star-crossed lovers are infinitely more interesting and passionate than the simple relationships that make you smile easy and love softly. And she contented herself to simple.

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AN: I would be eternally grateful if you reviewed. If you hated it, let me know. If you loved it, encourage me to continue writing other stories. If you think it's just meh, say that too!  
Any feedback is appreciated!


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